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How to bare a behind

I have just realised that I haven’t done a chatty blog for yonks. Stories always get more hits, and I have posted a few of those since l...

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Your Favourite Stories - A Statistical Review

The perspicacious amongst you will have readily noticed that dilatoriness has been the order of the day recently. In other words, sharp sighted folks may think that things have gone a little quiet on this blog. Nowhere near as bad as another blog I have on theatre, not a thing there for months. Shall not regale you with the reasons, far too boring, but rest assured that whilst theatre visits have been pretty well nonexistent these last few months the travels of the pants down variety have still featured regularly in my life. Usually for fully naked massages, no other way in my opinion, but also, occasionally, for well deserved and long overdue bottom whackings. Taking all of your clothes off for pampering is fun, preferably by another male but not compulsory, but baring your bottom whilst retaining much else is so much better. There is something so very wonderful in bending over a bench waiting for the tee shirt to be raised and the underpants pulled down. And then the lovely whacks on the over eager bottom. And unlike massages when a male is definitely favoured by me, chastiser gender is immaterial. Just be good and accurate is all I wish for and want. And both genders have warmed up my behind during the last few months. So, in spite of dilatory blogging, there is still life in this old dog. Or certainly in his backside.

One thing I have been doing whilst waiting for story scribing inspiration is studying my statistical hits on whacking tales. Moving up to around 250,000 hits now, so I have a pretty clear idea of what appeals. Three thoughts come readily to mind.



A story will always win out over a blog.

17 of my stories have registered over 1,000 hits each. The top one, Fridays at Three O’clock, currently stands at 12,850 and two others, The Boston Landlady and Miss Pringle Solves a Problem, have both passed the 10,000 mark. Only one blog, My First Caning, has reached over 10,000 and only 7 have passed the 1,000 hurdle.


A Female whacking the bottom wins out over the male.

8 of the top ten stories involve a female dominant whacking a young bottom, In addition to those recorded above The Reluctant Schoolboy, The Past is Always Present, Mistress Fredericka, A Lesson for Miss Jones, and Aunt Mildred all figure up there in the top ten. Surprisingly the last two of these have a girl baring her bottom. Only Yesterdays Boy (autobiographical) and The Headmaster’s Dilemma, stories of the male caning a male intrude in the higher echelons. This preference for the female chastiser is underlined by the blog statistics with The Leicester Governess, I Have Never Seen Whipstock Grange and Caning as Therapy all being in the top ten blogs.


The Cane is Tops.

A theme that runs through most of the top stories and blogs is that the wielding of a cane across a bare bottom trumps much else. All of the top ten blogs involve someone being caned and 3 of the top 5 stories have a similar scenario. Statistics are undoubtedly skewed by the fact that I enjoy writing blogs and stories involving the cane much more than other scenarios but the fact that they figure so highly suggests like minded readers.



So an interesting set of statistics. Most of those singled out above are on the currently top ten list (see right column) and easily linked. And this, in itself, is another statistical skew. Folks are lazy, I reckon, and the top six account for 47% of story hits and 55% of blog hits. Success breeds success is my uncharitable thought. A thought underlined by the fact that my currently featured blog (see top) How to Bare a Behind, has taken a big jump up the table in recent months. Currently working on a new story (The Artist’s Strange Model) and musing on posting an old long one (A Light Shines in Ruislip). All this and the above await comments to my e-mail. alfred.roy@btinternet.com Postings there have been conspicuous by absence recently. Are you all too busy being whacked?

Alfred Roy